How to be single and love it!

So you’ve just got out of that draining relationship, now what? Even though you want to be free, most people end up in another restricting relationship sooner than they think. Why? Because the thing we miss most from any relationship, even a bad one, is company. We may not miss that person but we miss a person, any person in our lives. Of course we do, we suddenly wake up alone, leave for work alone, return to an empty home, eat alone, go to bed alone. The list goes on…

But is that such a bad thing? No, of course it’s not, we just have to get used to our own company – arguably the best there is!

Now is the time to reflect on how that last relationship was holding us back; think back to what you used to enjoy back when you were young and single. Why did you stop rock climbing, was it really a case of just ‘growing out of it’ or was it because your partner didn’t like it? What about that friend you used to hang out with that your partner couldn’t get on with – miss them??? The same works the other way round; is that really your favourite restaurant or did it become a habit because you were pleasing your ex? Why did you paint the bedroom bright green?

Now is the time to rediscover who you really are! And it’s not just the big things. I’m talking about everyday habits; why do you always sleep on that side of the bed, why do you sit in that chair, watch that program, eat breakfast before showering, close the bedroom window at night? And that shirt you never really liked…

Now is the time to let go, really let go. Introduce you to yourself, do you like what you see? If not, then change – and even if so, be open to change. Learn who you really are and who you really want to be. Become 100% you and not you as part of a couple.

How? Explore, experiment; try a new restaurant – alone! Try a sport or activity you’ve never tried before, walk down a new shopping street, try a different grocery store, different food. Discover a new author; go see a film that you wouldn’t normally see – alone, socialise. But don’t forget to enjoy some real ‘me’ time either; stay in, drink wine, take too long to cook, clear the dishes tomorrow!

Treat yourself like a new partner; ask questions, listen, be attentive, take time, make extra effort, pay compliments! Find confidence in who you have become. Love yourself, warts and all; it’s who you’ll spend the rest of your life with!

And then… then you’ll be in a far better place to meet ‘The One!’


  1. I'm glad you're not single - sounds like you'd be too good at it!!


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